Coping with aging can often be hard to manage. When senior parents struggle to do laundry, cook, or even dress themselves, it can be difficult for their children to bear. Bills and mail will remain ignored more and more, along with chores and personal hygiene. As people age, even simple tasks can seem difficult to accomplish. Even the tiniest task can be difficult for elders.
Witnessing aging causing their parents problems in performing simple tasks can be frustrating and heartbreaking for any child. Growing up, children see their parents as immortal heroes in many situations. The thought of them becoming weak leaves most of us until we see it. Then, a difficult decision that no child wants to face: is whether assisted living would be a better option for their parents to reduce their daily stress.
However, this discussion should not be difficult. There are ways to avoid parental anger and denial while being supportive and caring.
How to Approach the Topic
Sometimes the way we look at a subject can be the problem, not how the person perceives it. Tone, body language, words, and phrases all play an essential role in how people perceive a subject. Changing your method can help when the chosen approach does not work the first time. Repeating identical words will encourage even more negative reactions.
Here are some tips for a different approach when recommending an assisted living community in Tomball, TX, to parents:
- Asking parents to explore options with you will give them a sense of control.
- Telling senior parents that they must do something will immediately make them defensive about the matter.
- Leave fear and frustration out of the conversation.
- Be supportive, express your concerns, and show your love instead.
- Let them know they are not alone.
Explain the benefits living in a senior living community can bring. Seeking advice and feedback from trusted friends or family members will also help. They can indicate if the process feels too rigid, too controlling, or inappropriate. Their advice will help to adjust the plan accordingly.
Bringing up the topic of assisted living can seem like an impossible task. Sometimes, a parent can feel frustrated and angry just because they feel judged when told. When the subject of assisted living turns negative, stepping back can help ease their frustration. Give them a few weeks to think before you try again. This period will give them time to process the suggestion properly. A parent can determine their situation and decide that they need elder care.
Honesty is Vital
Honesty is the best policy when expressing your feelings about assisted living options. Keeping fear and frustration at bay is always crucial when explaining concerns and worries. Having a good relationship with your parents is also beneficial. Their connection with their child may help improve their reception of the subject.
Here are some ideas to try when you bring up this topic for the first time (or later):
- Explain how loved they are
- Tell them how worried you are
- Prioritize their happiness
- Explain your exhaustion or fatigue
- Remind them that you are helping, not angry
- Remember that they can be scared, angry, frustrated, feel judged, etc. by the topic
- Never call them selfish
- Never refer to them as a burden
- Introduce assisted care for seniors as a way to help both sides
Try to prevent personal frustration, fear, anger, or other negative emotions from affecting the tone of the recommendation. The main goal is to introduce assisted living communities as a safe and stress-free way to enjoy life in their years. This goal is especially true for memory care communities that oversee people living with Alzheimer’s disease.
When elderly parents refuse to accept assisted living, it may be time to seek legal help. Elder care attorneys offer advice and options that can help when elderly parents refuse home care. This approach may make the parent sad or angry, but the outcome is much safer than putting them or others in harm’s way. Remember to try all possible avenues before seeking legal advice. Sometimes the threat of legal action can be enough to convince an elderly parent to choose an assisted living community.
Find a Better Senior Community
Make the best decision for your elderly parents by letting us care for them at Harvest Home & Inwood Crossing. We offer excellent assisted living experiences for seniors with amenities that are unmatched anywhere else. We offer a better solution and provide a safe and caring environment where seniors can feel at ease. Call us and arrange a visit to our community. Schedule a tour and meet our residents to learn more about our community’s benefits.